Gluttony: Fanfiction :: Indulge Yourself!

Name: BKL8008 (Signed) · Date: 10/01/2014 08:32 pm · Chapter: My Husband

To love and to protect, in good and bad, blah, blah, blah... Wait a second, hadn't I been doing that all these years? Hadn't you been doing that? Hadn't we loved each other ever since I fixed your broken spectacles on the Hogwarts Express? Of course we had, but we were too thick to realize, too blind to see what all this time had been obvious, too busy complying to the expectations that had been laid upon us.

And you've pretty much nailed it right there. I have to admit, I wasn't thrilled with the direction the canon took when Hermione and Ron were getting involved. I always took Ron for the batchelor type. All the foreshadowing in the books seemed to point to H/H, but oh well. I had problems with a lot of the other pairings as well: Luna, Neville, Draco...hooked up with "someone out of left field". You've shoved a lot of emotion into this one, and it works. I can't say that I'd have been able to do this, as you write what you know. As you have seen, I know "boys in trouble". I have little experience with this subject matter. That's why we read someone else's stuff! :) If this continues, it would be interesting to see who you come up with as AU children!

Author's Response:
This was the fruit of some serious frustration taking me over, after having re-read book 7 and the Crapilogue. Of course, tastes differ, but honestly? Ron?

I think Hermione's POV did work here well; I have rewritten this at least half a dozen times. Still not happy, but I had to post it to get the story moving.

There's also a small Cinderella note in this chapter about a plain Muggleborn witch who, at least for one day, becomes the centre of the universel. Not that Hermione ever wanted it, I would assume she'd rather have skipped off with Harry to Gretna Green to get married, but still, this day is all about her, about her dreams coming true, about her finally finding her place beside the man she loves, after all those wasted years.

And now I hear some powerful guitar strumming:
"Sooo, understand, don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years..."
/Iron Maiden/

Name: BKL8008 (Signed) · Date: 09/01/2014 09:23 pm · Chapter: Are You Scared?

OK, just this: "steal his fiancn4;e and run away" and I'll stop being a grammar Nazi. I promise.

Good captures of the characters, especially Luna. It is so "Luna" to do what she did. It was great. And needed, I think.

It would be interesting to see how, if you address, it you'll resolve the involuted Weasley problems here. Frankly, I can't see Ron taking this well at all. Then again, we are talking AU here.

It's also very accurate and well done in the pre-wedding jitters area. Seen plenty of that as a photographer. And everything else that can go wrong...

Author's Response:
Thanks for your correction here, stupid typo.

Ron is Past Tense, and so is Ginny. Hermione broke up with Ron earlier than Harry with Ginny; it's only friendship now what these pairs share, if any.

Luna and Fleur are, by the way, my two favourite minor characters. They have so much unexplored potential and I love both dearly. Especially Luna is enormous fun to write, I guess I just have a good hold on her character.

I humbly thank you for your encouraging words and the constructive criticism.

Name: BKL8008 (Signed) · Date: 09/01/2014 09:16 pm · Chapter: Moonlight

Admitedly, not my cup of tea, so to say, but again, a direction that I can see things going in. Not too over the top, I think, for (probably) anyone but me. Then again, the whole element of romance makes me reach for the BACK button. However, it's still a good piece, I think, for those that are into that sort of thing! As I said before, if things were to go wrong, I think you've got a good capture of where they'd go.

Author's Response:
The reason of including some romance and some lemon was to show how much has changed when the two finally found each other. They now have the chance to live the normal life anyone of their age should have. They just blossom, and so does their love.

As always, I'm really grateful for your time and spot-on suggestions.

Name: BKL8008 (Signed) · Date: 09/01/2014 09:12 pm · Chapter: To Become Whole Again

It's a very interesting turn of events in this particular AU. One often has to wonder 'what could have been' or 'what might go wrong', even if the canon left us with a feeling of 'roses and clover' and 'happily ever after.' Sometimes I don't think that this would even be possible for these three, at least, not with some serious therapy! This is quite the believable direction, though, that the relationships could take if they were collapse, and a good capture of such. One thing: I can't see Hermione addressing Harry by his last name, though.

Author's Response:
I wasn't particularly happy with the JKR version of "happily ever after". Hence my interest for AU in general.
As for the Golden Trio, this "happily ever after" would have been really hard to achieve, so I agree with you on this one.
Many AU writers, at least those who don't pair Hermione up with Draco (yuck!) tend to Harmony, and in the last few movies there were quite a few small scenes that have been included to make Harmony shippers happy. I wanted them to end up together, but alas, JKR had other ideas. That was the prompt to write this story.

I will look into your last remark, you are, as always, right.

Thanks for your time to read and review.

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